Saturday, March 30, 2013

The Adventures of Butterball: Tapout W2,D1

* The Adventures of Butterball are true stories about my *
* trials and tribulations as a stupid fat girl.  Enjoy! *

It's the first day of the second week. Our heroine is psyched. Let's see how long this lasts...


Pre-workout mood: It's Saturday! I slept in an extra hour! I'm feelin' great! Let's get this started!!

Day 1 is Competition Core.

Competition Core? I changed my mind. Can I go back to bed?

47:15 Warm up. The fact that Mike's starting out without his shirt on is not encouraging. I don't think he's doing it for the eye candy factor. I think this is a sign that this is going to be intense. Well, he can just bring it! I am ready! (Right? Ha ha?)
44:15 Lumberjack. This requires the band. Again, it's my first time doing this workout and I'm foregoing the bands. To be honest, I don't have a band to do this one. Mine are too tight. I'll get two done and then my arms are going to collapse. Better to do the move and keep up my pace today.
40:00 Plank knee strikes. OMG! I can plank today! Wow! I can feel that too. Whoa! Holy crap I'm doing this! Holy crap this is gonna hurt later!
37:00 I love low level lunges. I can totally wreck these! And the big guy in the back row just took a break! Ha! I'm not breakin' you ape! Get back in it!
32:25 Mountain climbers. These babies hurt! It's like jogging from a plank position. Doin' my best.
31:25 Prison squat. This is a crazy cardio move. I have no idea why it's called prison squat. If Mike said I didn't hear it because the sound of my own breath is overpowering the TV. But it's a controlled breath. Something I learned from when I ran. (Yes, believe it or not there was a time I was a runner.) Deep breaths. Don't wanna start hyperventilating.
30:00 Snow angels. Lay straight out on the floor, arms overhead, then crunch in like you're making a snow angel, but your shoulders and legs come off the floor. AAAAAHHHH!!!! These are killer!! OMG! I can feel my abs crunching! OMG! I HAVE ABS! And they're not just crunching in pain; they are working!
28:30 Push-ups with side planks and power jacks. Well, I did about two to their dozen. This is the first day I've been able to do a side plank. I had to heavily modify it, but I did it. I couldn't do those last week.
24:50 Orlie hop. This is the first exercise today that I absolutely cannot do. It requires a move I can't describe properly in words, but I can't do it because my stomach is too big and I'll hit my head on the floor. When my arms are stronger, maybe. Not worried about it though. Last week I couldn't side plank. Maybe I'll Orlie hop next week.
23:25 Warrior push-up. It takes my favorite yoga move Warrior One and turns it into a push-up. Again, I did about two. Amazed I got two. I'm not a big fan of falling on the floor and popping back up.
19:55 Lunge bounce. I think the house just shifted off the foundation. Haha! Half the class just took a break. I'm not breaking! I like lunges. I do not want to know why those muscles on me rock. Haha! Sam just gave Mike a dirty look. It was kinda sexy. Water break!
17:55 Mountain climbers on our forearms. I cannot hold a plank position on my elbows. This is the most painful position I've tried to accomplish yet. It focuses on my lower abs. I spent the entire time just trying to stay up. Wow. That's intense.
14:25 Side burpee punch. Well, I'm impressed. It took almost 33 minutes for me to swear at Mike.
11:42 Bridge push kicks. Still swearing.
10:40 Ab bicycle reach. AAAAHHHH!!!! Come on abs! Don't stop now!
07:15 Plank hip rotator. Well, I'll try it. Plank, reach leg threw, switch. Ow. No seriously. What did I just pull in my leg. I think I'll just pass on these for now. I'll just try to stand up. I'm slowin' down big time now. Just a little more to go!
KILLER MOVE! Queen Bee. It's a lunge move! Yes! I got it! Don't pull on the neck! Tighten the core! Add the junk! Keep it up! Uh, what? Add the junk? Did he say add the junk? It was probably trunk, but he is a dude, so it could be junk. That's hilarious. Add the junk, byotch!
03:00 Cool down. This feels good today. Real good.

This was a FANTASTIC workout! I loved it! It had just the right amount of stand up-get down for me. It had lunges and punches and planks. I am truly amazed at how much I could do today. When I got done I cried. Honest-to-goodness tears on my cheeks. People wouldn't think of me as a sentimental person, and for the most part I'm not, but I can be quite emotional when it comes to myself. Especially when I've accomplished something. It's a rare thing in my life. I cried after completing the Great Race; I cried when my first book was done; I cried this morning. I love it when I surprise myself. I should really make an effort more often. I probably could have cured cancer or found the douchebag gene by now. (You know there is one, right?)

Tomorrow is Strength & Force Upper + Ultimate Abs. This is the first of the workout videos that will be a repeat. Unless something truly amazing happens, most likely I will not blog about it. Just once in a while with an update. Maybe start a little gadget on the right-hand side there with some stats. Maybe...