Wednesday, March 27, 2013

The Adventures of Butterball: Tapout Day 5

* The Adventures of Butterball are true stories about my *
* trials and tribulations as a stupid fat girl.  Enjoy! *

Our heroine is battered and bruised but not beaten.  She doesn't really get into that kind of thing.


Pre-workout mood: .

Day 5 is Legs & Back.

Of course it's Legs & Back today. I had my deep tissue massage last night. I really gotta plan these things better.

40:20 Warm up. Mike's wearing the Earned By Sweat t-shirt today. I look forward to getting mine in 12 weeks when I finish this. I've never worked so hard for a freaking t-shirt before. Geez, I hope they have girl t-shirts. If I have to cut into the collar of that Earned By Sweat t-shirt so I don't choke to death I'm gonna be pissed.
38:40 We're on the floor and I'm ok with that today. Drew got me a foam fitness mat from Dick's last night. That along with a folded up yoga mat makes all the difference for both my knees and my bruised lower back.
36:20 I've already decided I'm not using the resistance bands today. Gravity and my own weight is my resistance. I'll try it next time. Right now I want to workout and sweat and not hurt myself too badly.
34:00 Mike's got a half-naked guy in the front row to his right. His name is Shawn. Or Sean. Or Shaun. I don't know how he spells it. I'm going with Sean. Incidentally the same name of a new character in Book #2 which I will finish writing someday.
33:20 Plank Foot Jacks. Oh man! I was with you until this move. I can't even describe it. It's the inbred child of the plank position & jumping jacks.
<<It's absolutely crazy how fast the workout changes. I like it. I'm movin' a little faster today than last Saturday when I started too.>>
15:34 Mike's strippin'! Time to take off the shirt!
15:33 Ok, time to put mine back on!
14:20 Push Up Plyo Jack. WHAT?? Do a push up and a jumping jack at the same time? Are you psychotic? Hello, girly push-ups.
10:30 Side Push-Ups. I'm doin' the best I can. And I'm cryin' after two. Ouch.
KILLER MOVE: Superman/Knee Strike. Spread out like Superman then pop your entire body in the air. Mike looks like a hyperactive waterbug. How in the hell did he do that? It looks impossible. I mean, breaking the laws of physics impossible. And he gets some serious air there! Wow. I wussed out and just watched. Truly amazing. I cannot fathom ever being able to do that.

   That was a hard, sweaty workout. I'm pleased with it. So glad to have figured out how to do floor work without pain. 

   To not sneeze. I never knew you used every muscle in your body when you sneezed. I sneezed this morning and every sore muscle tensed up at the same time. I thought someone was going to have to call an ambulance.