Sunday, May 6, 2012

And Home Again...

Back from vacation...physically.  Mentally, my brain is still having a great time.

The trip home added a new addition to my list of things that should die.  This time it's an entire chain of stores.

Books-A-Million.  I hate you.

I used to love that bookstore.  We stopped there on this trip to browse the clearance bins and to see what's new.  I should have guessed it was going to be a disaster when I was greeted by a big display for Fifty Shades of Grey, which is such a horribly written book that even the author said, "What do you mean people are reading it?  It's crap."  I will agree with her on that point.  I could go on for a very long time about just how awful that book is, but I'm trying to put that experience behind me.

Back to what really must be wiped from the planet.  Books-A-Million.

Drew and I decided to get an audiobook for the ride home.  I had some pirated ones in the car already, but we really wanted to listen to Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.  Instead of complaining about having to pay $18 for it, Drew reminded me I was circulating positive money back into the financial flow of the Universe.  Or something like that.  He was right.  So I took it up to the register.

The checkout girl, like almost all checkout personnel in stores now-a-days, asked if I was a member of their book club.  "No."  Did I want to be?  "No."  It's only $20 a year.  "Definitely not."  She proceeded to spend a good five minutes explaining all the wonderful aspects of being in their club.  "Still...no."  She then told me I qualified to receive three magazines for free for two months.  "Not interested."  I think she was disappointed in me.  At this point I put on my best "I know this is your job, but you're pissing me off" look.  Complete with stern jaw, terse smile and sympathic eyes.  It probably looked more like I was trying to hold back a fart.

After nearly ten minutes of trying to pay for my item...only my item and nothing else...we finally escaped.

Me:  Well, that was extremely annoying.
Drew:  Very.
Me:  Books-A-Million just lost another customer.
Drew:  Two, actually.
Me:  This is why I pirate media from the internet.
Drew:  I'm starting to agree.

To make matters worse, the audiobook was boring. I'm not sure if the book just doesn't translate well when read aloud but three CD's into the nine CD set and even Drew was bored.  I will grant the author Seth Grahame-Smith credit for being an excellent writer.  I just wanted to hear less about Abe's life and history, and more about vampires and hunting.  The little bit he'd gotten into by the time we stopped listening was done quickly and predictably.  It just wasn't exciting enough for the very long drive from SC to NY.  I'm looking forward to the movie though!  Very much so.

Does anyone want Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter on audiobook?  It's free.  I won't even make you join my club.