Wednesday, September 14, 2016

5-Day Juicing Challenge : Day Two

The continuing adventures of Drew, Stacey, and Stephanie’s 5-Day Juicing Challenge

This morning’s check in:

Stacey: I’m ok.
Drew: I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck.
Steph: Hahahahahahaha! It’s about time your body caught up to what you were doing! Slow poke!
(I know. I’m a bitchy wife.)

September 13, 2016 - Day Two

Breakfast: Apples, Carrots, Beets, Sweet Potato, Romaine, Ginger
Beets are one of the few vegetables that I hate. My mother used to make beets and it churned my stomach every time. The sight, smell, and taste made me ill. So, why am I making a juice from beets? Because I’m a grown up now and I need to do more grown up things. Plus, it’s been rumored that juiced vegetables do not taste the same as cooked vegetables.

So, I tried it. And dammit. I liked it. Like… a lot.

When I mean “a lot” I mean it’s the best one yet. It’s not even close to the amount of love I have for a burger and beer, but it’s way better than anything I had yesterday.

And bonus for the fact that it did not upset my stomach. No problems. Huh. Weird.

No, really officer. It's beet juice. 
I was kidding yesterday. I wouldn't kill him. 
Who would take out the trash??

Mid-Morning Bathroom Discovery:
“Holy shit! Is that an irradiated carrot I just passed through my intestines? My God! I never knew I could crap such vivid colors! This is unbelievable! Wish I brought my phone! No one will believe this!”

Morning Snack: Coconut Water
Today we tried peach-mango flavored coconut water. Did not think you could make coconut water worse, but I was wrong. Awful. Oh, orange-flavored coconut vomit water! How I miss you!

Lunch: Apple, Lemon, Celery, Cucumber, Parsley, Spinach
I don’t care for celery. I like it chopped up really fine in my tuna salad. I don’t like to eat it raw because it’s stringy and it gives me the shivers when it gets caught in my teeth. And cooked? No no no.

So, no one is more surprised than me when I drank this and blurted out, “I like it!”

Again, it’s no grilled cheese sandwich and waffle fries, but it shocked me by not being completely disgusting.

And I learned my lesson from yesterday and skinned this baby before juicing it. Much MUCH better.

Central NY Cucumbers.
Making porn stars jealous since 1969.

Afternoon Snack: More of that breakfast yumminess
I hope it doesn't stain... because I wore a bit of it. Slob.

Post Afternoon Snack: The recommended adult dosage of Ibuprofen and Excedrin Migraine
Yesterday, I hit the medicine cabinet three times. This is the first I’ve touched it today, so it’s improving.

Dinner: More of that celery liquid from the gods
It wasn't as tasty tonight. I think I'm just tired from today.

Isn't that a beautiful color green?
Bet you're "green" with envy that this is mine!
Hahahaha!  Don't be hatin'.

Evening Snack: Sweet Potatoes, Apples, Oranges, Carrots, Cinnamon
Same stuff as yesterday. The sweet potatoes are starting to wear me out. I added more cinnamon, but the only thing that could save this for me tonight is vanilla vodka. Too bad that’s frowned upon. And I don't own any. And the liquor store is closed now.

Day Two: Damage Report, Sponsored by Toilet Skittles
Me - Slight Headache, No Dizziness, Drank Everything and Pissed Out Twice As Much.
Stacey - Mild Headache, Intestines Are Reenacting the Destruction of Pompeii, Stuck To It and Gone To Bed!
Drew - Doing a Little Better, Still Draggin', Still Married.