Thursday, April 18, 2013

The Adventures of Butterball: Beyond Blubberdome Week 3

* The Adventures of Butterball are true stories about my *
* trials and tribulations as a stupid fat girl.  Enjoy! *

Ok, I'm pretty sure everyone who said, "Oh, you'll start burning fat in 2-3 weeks" or "Keep up the good work! You'll see results soon!" are somewhere in an evil lair laughing their asses off now at my expense.

A two and a half pound gain this week.

Really? Are you fucking kidding me? I'm so pissed I'm not even going to bleep that out. I did all my workouts this week and I busted my ASS doing them.

And to make matters worse, Jason had a shit week (still no goddamn bleeps!) and he still managed a pound loss. I don't know how, but I'm sure he's to blame for all this. Someday I'll figure it out and when I do I'll kick him square in the package. 

Incidently, that was the workout this morning. Muay Thai. Which is Romulan for "Kick to the Testes." It was a great workout. I sweated my invisible balls off. If they had been real balls I might have lost some weight!!!

You know I didn't start exercising expecting a miracle. It's not like I wanted to be Gina Carano...

Ok, sure. Of course I'd love to be Gina Carano. I just meant that it's not going to happen. But I also didn't want to be Pam Poovey...

Even though Pam is pretty cool and she can out-sex Archer, so there is that. Not to mention we both have a soy-allergy. I'm sure it's just a coincidence.

Well, I guess I'm going to have to get drastic now to lose the weight.