Sunday, April 14, 2013

The Adventures of Butterball: Beyond Blubberdome Week 2

* The Adventures of Butterball are true stories about my *
* trials and tribulations as a stupid fat girl.  Enjoy! *

I had a 1.25 pound loss this week. I should be happy about this. As everyone says, "Hey! It's a loss! Any loss is a good loss!" This is true, but when you've worked as hard as I have it's still a little disappointing. I'm morbidly obese (a term that makes my morbidly obese stomach churn). You'd think that I would be dropping pounds in the beginning like Paula Dean drops butter into something baked with a lot of butter. (I don't know. I don't bake.) 

I know what the experts all say. It takes a few weeks for the muscle to start burning that fat. And I'd already gone through my initial "water loss" stage months ago when I started eating healthy, so I don't even have that perk this time around. Still, it kinda sucks.

But! I'm not quitting. There have been so many other perks to this exercising thing (if you missed it, see here) that I'm not giving up. I know the long-term benefits will be coming. That's why it's called "long-term." (Genius!)

I have to give Jason congrats on doing so well, even if he wasn't really trying. But he's still a bastard.

Enjoy the lead while you can, Temporarily Fat Purple Disney-Copyrighted Octopus Creature-Thingie!! My fantasy boyfriend Prince Eric is gonna kick your ass! You'll know him by the white shirt, blue pants and red belt that he ALWAYS wears. I mean, seriously? Can't switch it up with maybe a tight black T and khaki's once in a while? At least he's not Prince Charming and wears red pants. Soooo embarassing. Poor Cinderella. Anyway, bite me, calamari witch.

P.S. Yeah, I'm not planning to win any photoshop awards either.