Crafty Catch-Up

Hello internet peoples. I'm back for lordy knows how long this time. Every time I start to write something for this blog, I get overwhelmed by how long it's been and I quit. So this time I'm just gonna finish it, gosh-darn-tooty. No editing, no second-guessing. Here goes...

This is a crafty catch-up post. Here's what you might have missed. Some of these pics have been on the Facebook thingy, but not everyone stalks me over there, so I'm putting them here too. And since it looks like the last crafty post was October of last year, this might get a little long.

If you can't see the pictures well enough, you can click on them and they will expand. I don't suggest you do that with any pictures of my face. I look much better from a safe distance.

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My buddy, co-worker, and kick-arse yogini Teresa (Hi Boss!) requested a few cards over the year.

The shoe is a shrinky-dink wine glass charm. You can buy ink-jet shrinky-dink paper and use the embossing gun to shrink it in seconds. It's so cool to work with.

I loved this birthday card for the nature-loving male in your life. Now that I think about it, I think it went to a hunter. I shoulda put a target on that deer. Next card might be from the perspective of a scope with the cross-hairs on Senor Venison Steaks. Too rude? Maybe. But sometimes you just wanna make an evil-voodoo greeting card.

This was a large card that she requested for a friend that was going through a tough-time. It ended up being kind of bulky in the end, but it was worth it. The butterfly and roses were punch-outs that I filled in one piece at a time. Quite lovely.

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Last April, my brother-from-another-mother Jeff decided to throw a surprise birthday party for his wife Bonny at Belhurst. Ok. Let me correct that. In June of 2015, Jeff told me he wanted to throw Bonny a surprise birthday party for her next birthday.

Cue 4 months of :
Jeff: I'm so nervous about this party!
Me: It's a little early to be worrying about this.

Then another 4 months of:
Jeff: I'm so nervous about this party!
Me: You're good.

Then 1 month of:
Jeff: I'm so nerv--
Me: Oh, my God! It's fine!

Then a final month of:
Jeff: I'm so nerv--
Me: Oh, just give me the name of the party planner at Belhurst. I'll talk to her.
Jeff (with that adorable little boy grin he has): Thank you.

Actually, he wasn't that bad. Not all the time, any way.

Jeff did a great job, Bonny was surprise, and we all had a wonderful time. I made place cards for the dinner that had people's names on the front, a little pic of their food choice, and their meals written on the back, which I've been told the staff at Belhurst was thrilled with. Here's a few examples.

Since it was Bonny's 50th, Jeff planned a special gift for her. Tickets to see a Cubs game. This is something she mentioned several times over the years and Jeff decided to take her. He asked for a special card and I came through with this...

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Let's lump all the hats and costume pieces in one section here.

For Halloween, Drew, the Gilfus sisters, and I went to Americana Winery for a costume party. It was one of the most fun times I've ever had. Every guest had on a costume. Given the proximity of Americana to Ithaca, there were a lot of creative costume and several dance squads, which makes for fantastic people-watching. We danced for four hours. We did!! It was a great time!

The theme was Bedtime Stories. Drew and I went as the Queen of Hearts and Madhatter. Below is my mini-hat, wand, and about the only good photo we got of the event, which is unfortunate, because I made my costume which was a long white bib with hearts on it that I tacked over my red shirt and black palazzo pants. I could move, dance, and (most importantly) use the bathroom without problems. And, of course, I made Drew's top hat too.

Mardi Gras around Cayuga Lake. I made a funky necklace and supermini-hat. It's a teeny-tiny top hat! I wish I'd gotten a picture of the one I made for Stacey. I really need to make a better effort to take more pictures. 

Just for fun. A gothic steampunk hat complete with aviator glasses, a crow, feathers, and a black/red silk tail.

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Let's show off some banners.

Christie, who works in my department and who is also a card maker, had a baby boy this year. Christie and Tim are both Fleming firefighters so I put fire badges in the middle of the red tulle that you can't actually see. The hot air balloons (which looked so much bigger and cooler when I made them at home) have little dalmatians wearing fireman caps in the baskets. (Dammit. Why didn't I take pictures of the balloons? They were neat!)

Hi Christie!!  By the way, that awesome cake was from Wegmans.

The MCL Department at work (and no, I don't know what MCL stands for any more) commissioned a generic baby shower banner because every other person over there is preggers. Haha!

For Stacey's birthday, I made a LIVE-LAUGH-LOVE banner and I hung it up in her living room without her permission. I'm a reverse crafty pirate. I will come into your home and add stuff to it then intimidate you into appreciating it. LOL! Actually, I think she does really like it. I told her she doesn't need to keep it up. And now that I've written this, I feel kinda jerky. Oh well. I'll get over it. Ha!

The flowers on the ends of the above banners are paper. I created a cut file for my Silhouette Portrait to cut out the petals and leaves. I put them together using hot glue. It's actually really simple. Those are half-size flowers. The full-size is below:

Normally, I would never photograph myself, but I wanted to convey the true size of those huge flowers.

Here's a close-up of the half-size flowers. 

The bottom flower and card I made for my Stampin' Up rep Jessica Brigden. She's been with Stampin' Up for 10 years and we went to her Stampiversary Party. Jess is the most awesome-est SU rep and a total sweetheart. Check her out on Facebook -- JESS B-CREATIVE "CARD"IOLOGY

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Here's a couple cards that I made specially. 

This was the birthday card I made for my telescope-fanatic hubby. He framed it. Aaaaaaah. *sniffle*

This was the card I made my mother-in-law for her birthday last week. Love that Blushing Bride glimmer paper from Stampin' Up!!

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Here's a huge collection of the cards I've made over the past year. (My mom really likes to see these.)

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If you made it this far, then you deserve a reward. 

I made this for one of my co-workers when she was having a particularly bad day and getting really anxious for the workday to end so she could go camping.

Some days I feel the same way about gin.

~Steph

My Obsession with "The Room"

The movie "The Room", written, directed, and starring Tommy Wiseau, is widely regarded as the Citizen Kane of bad movies. I've seen it a million times. (Only slightly exaggerating there.) I've watched it with and without the hysterical RiffTrax audio commentary. I've watched it so much that I've made my own fanvids of it. I have formulated government-style theories around the characters in the movie. I've spliced it into other movie trailers. I've re-edited the movie to remove Lisa completely so it would appear Johnny and Mark are a happily married gay couple who have adopted troubled-teen Denny. I discovered, by accident, that if you play the movie back at the fastest speed possible on VLC Media Player that it improves every one's acting by 375%. I own a copy of the script! I bought Greg Sestero's hilarious book about the making of the movie. I have since bought everything else Tommy and Greg have ever been in, just in case "The Room" was not a fluke and they gloriously suck in other productions as well. 

Let's break down some of that run-on paragraph...

Stalking actors isn't always a bad thing. Especially if you're lazy and can't be bothered with actual physical contact or even going to the post office to mail your hair clippings. There are some instances that stalking is good. When you buy other movies they've been in you're stimulating the economy. (Amongst other things.) Plus, you might find something else to obsess about! Hobbies are good, right??

Greg Sestero was recently in the movie "Dude Bro Party Massacre III," which is a spoof on 80's slasher films. 

I grew up on 80's slasher films! So naturally, I had to get it. Turns out that this movie isn't just a parody; it's an homage to every actor who died a horrifying death in cheap fake blood-soaked camp t-shirts. I really like this movie because it's super-fun and very well done. The actors were all great. Even Gregory "Greg" Sestero. 

STALKER BONUS: Greg's naked chest is on screen for all of 2-seconds in this movie and I proceeded to turn that 2-seconds into a Vine. 

Please don't sue me. I am so damn poor.

By the way, I'm totally using this without permission from Greg's hairless nipples or 5 Second Films, the maker of "Dude Bro Party Massacre III." As a way to say thank you to them not giving me grief about this (insert super-huge fan smile here), I encourage everyone to go get DBPM3 at http://www.dudebropartymassacre3.com. You can watch it online or download it. If you grew up in the 80's and enjoyed watching slasher films, such as Sleepaway Camp, you will love this.

UPDATE: It just struck me that I should have added the "Garbage Day!" audio clip from "Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2" to this Vine. Dammit! Next time... next time...

Before you think I'm just a horny stalking computer geek, consider that I'm also debating doing the same thing with Patton Oswalt's mustache from that movie. So, it's not strictly a sex-thing.

Or is it????

But my obsession with the video editing software I use? That's masturbatory geekery. I admit it. Movie Maker turns me on.

Did you read above that I own a copy of the script? I do. I ordered it from Tommy's company Street Fashions. When it came, I squeed. I opened the package and proceeded to bounce around like a four-year-old child who received a puppy for Christmas. The words "Oh, my God" were uttered no less than forty time. I had goosebumps. I cried.

Oh, my God!!!!!!!!

Tommy had personally signed my script.

To: Stephanie. May all your dreams come true! Love! Tommy Wiseau 05/28/2015

And before you say, "It's probably just the guy in the mailroom," I googled his signature just to make sure it was his. Hey, I've been stupider before about dumber things! I saw pics of him signing stuff. It's real.


UPDATE: I bought my BFF and fellow Tommy-stalker Stacey the script for Xmas. He signed hers too!! We love you, Tommy!!!

I don't have a solid theory on why this movie is so important to me. Yes, it's awful. Yes, I find it deliriously entertaining. Yes, I suppose it serves as a reminder that no matter how good or talented you are, you can achieve your dreams. But I don't think that's it. I just know it's important to me. And that's it.

I admit it. I freaking LOVE "The Room."

STALKER BONUS: The script came a free pair of Tommy Wiseau underwear. Check out the hip-dick pocket. (Inside joke for the RiffTrax fans!)

And on a final note, if you are at all interested in watching/reading about "The Room," here is the order you should do it in.

1. Watch "The Room" with the RiffTrax audio commentary. (If you don't know how, see me for instructions.)

2. Read Greg Sestero's book "The Disaster Artist: My Life Inside The Room." 

3. Pee yourself with laughter while reading Greg Sestero's book. Occasionally cry with pity.

4. Go back and watch "The Room" without anyone's commentary and appreciate it in all its glory. Sympathize with Claudette for having the world's laziest daughter (oh, and cancer, too). Realize that Lisa isn't really half-bad an actress. Proceed to still hate Lisa for being a tramp. Fail to fathom Mark's complete lack of "what's going on" and backbone. Wonder how in the hell Mark can even survive the day without a service dog to keep him from accidentally walking into traffic. Wish that Johnny would come back as a ghost in "The Room II" and haunt the shit out of everyone in this cast.

5. Repeat.

6. Repeat.

7. Repeat.
...

...
...

103. Come to the realization that Mark is supposed to be Greg. Lisa is supposed to be Tommy. Johnny is the viewing audience. Cry yourself to sleep because you have have nothing left to understand about this movie. You should maybe get some therapy now. But not from Peter. Don't play psychology with him. He's terrible at it.

~Steph

P.S. My apologies to my parents who probably read this whole thing and they have NO clue what any of this meant. They are most likely a lot happier they live in Tennessee now, as it puts a lot of miles between them and my severe weirdness.

This Week's Craftiness

I made some crafty goodness this week.  I've got three items to share with you.

The first is a mini-hat that I created for Miss Joanie's birthday.

I love her legless skeleton hiding in the black rose! 

Miss Joanie said she will wear it while she's working the customer service desk at Wegmans on Halloween. If you stop in, wish her a happy trick-or-treat!

There was a card party at Teresa's on Tuesday which, unfortunately, I could not attend. I already had tickets to see a show that night. I still participated in the card swap, whose theme was Male Birthday.

It's not one of my fave card themes because it generally involves nothing pink, frilly, or ribbony, but I was really pleased with my cards this time!


And finally, yet another pumpkin hat!

This one is for Julie. She bought the hat and had her daughter Abby paint it. She gave it to me, along with the ribbon, and I finished decorating it. I so much prefer when people bring me the items and just ask that I glue them all together. (And usually to my fingers... the table... the floor... ugh.)

Office "witch" and co-worker Judy decided to model it. I think it fits her perfectly!

Happy Hallowitching!

~Steph

Johnny Bender at The Gig

Johnny Bender is a local band that is comprised of two programmers, one firefighter, and a musician. We happen to work with the two programmers - Mike & Chris - and have been stalking this band since before they had fans. 

This was the usual party crowd I hung out with at a Johnny Bender show.

This is at J&B's. They were soooooo excited about the light show they added to their set that night.

The Milk Station in Cato was always a good time. They didn't have a stage there, but the corner was a nice space for the guys to play in.

Chris is saying, "I think I need to reconsider some of my life choices."
Tim is responding, "Speak up, dude. I can't hear you over the sound of the toilet flushing behind me."
"You're kidding, right?"

Nope. Not kidding.

But the Milk Station was a fun, friendly place. They not only allowed dancing on the bar, it was encouraged. 

I made Drew his own Johnny Bender t-shirt. I wanted one nice picture of the t-shirt. Just one. I got this.

I probably should have specified that I wanted one nice picture of the t-shirt and Drew. My bad.

The picture was a South Park-style rendering of the official band photo at the time.

On the back was the tour name I assigned them along with the show we were going to that night.

Mike liked to tell people that Chris would give them two dollars for coming to the see them play. For the Thanksgiving show, Mike announced Chris was giving away turkeys! To this day, I still want my turkey.

The shirt looks kinda cheesy now, but I assure you that in 2007 this was a really cool t-shirt. So cool that Mike asked if I wanted to be the band manager, which included all the perks of booking gigs, putting up posters, and being able to say I'm the band's manager. I said no, but I'll head-up the merchandising department! We can have hoodies, and car magnets, and key fobs, and beer coozies, etc... etc... It's probably a good thing that job never panned out. If it had, I imagine my attic would be full right now with boxes of Johnny Bender bobblehead dolls, Johnny Bender pens, Johnny Bender beer labels...

Damn it. Now I want to make some Johnny Bender bobblehead dolls. And beer labels. That would have been so cool. <Sigh.>

Johnny Bender's changed since 2007. They are still an amazing band, but they have a different drummer now. A local chap by the name of Sal. Or Joe. I never did figure out the business with his name. I call him, "That guy who's the drummer for Staind." Yep. Staind. When he's not rocking out with Johnny Bender, Sal-Joe is a drummer for a popular metal band.

Johnny Bender doesn't play out much anymore. But when they do, it's kind of impressive...

The light show is more high tech.

The Turning Stone dancing girls wear a little less clothing. 

Two programmers and a firefighter have come a long way from The Milk Station, The Cato Hotel, and J&B's. Thankfully, it doesn't seem to have gone to their heads. If it does, I'll dig out the email Mike sent me eight years ago asking if we were going to their next gig, and if so, could we stay until they finish because not many people can make it all the way to two am and it makes them (and the bar) kinda sad.

Oh yeah, Mike! I still got it! Just in case...

~Steph

Hello October!

It's my favorite month of the year... October!! I love the chill in the air. I don't necessarily like that we've had to turn the furnace on already, but it's still better than the humidity of summer.

I haven't been a very good blogger this year. I've been really busy and it's always on the tip of my brain when I'm doing something that it'll make for a good post. I'm sure eventually I will post about my summer adventures. I very rarely ever posted things in chronological order any way. Let's do a little bit of catch-up on the small things.

You may have noticed that I changed the look of the blog. I was getting tired of the dark red. I will likely change the photo at the top depending on the season/holiday. 

So, here's some craftiness you might have missed...

I haven't made a lot of cards. I liked this super yummy design I found on Silhouette's website.

Witches' Hats and Pumpkins are very popular this year. Stacey surprised me with a pumpkin and hat she picked up and we had a crafty afternoon decorating them. It only cost us two Fs and two GDs.

When judging the difficulty of our projects, we use the F system. As in, how many times did you say "fuck" before you were done. And Stacey throws it out there like a proper pirate. 

I tend to say "goddammit." I learned that word from my grandmother. It was her favorite swear word. RIP...goddammit.

Stacey went with her favorite color -- purple.

I make an orange one, because that's what I had ribbon for. When I went looking for items to decorate with, I was quite surprised to find my Halloween craft selection a bit sparse. How did that happen???

My girlfriend Kelly bought her own hat and painted it. She asked if I'd decorate it. Thankfully she also bought the ribbon and feather sticks too.

These are so much fun to do!

I found a paper mache cauldron at Joanns a few weeks ago. I had an idea in mind and I ran with it. 

The result was fairly close to the finished project in my mind...

Not all projects turn out well. For weeks... WEEKS!... I scoured for inexpensive plastic/foam pumpkins to make decorations I'd seen on the internet. All kinds of wonderful designs that were beginning to be recreated on my craft island. But those fake pumpkins are expensive. Even with a coupon, I can't justify the cost when it's for something I don't really need.

I did find some little foam pumpkins in the Dollar Tree. I cut them in half, painted them, and mounted them onto my picture frame. The result was... well... not great.

It's very colorful! The flower is very pretty! The pumpkin is buried. Unrecognizable really. This isn't the first time I've had a crafting fail. Just one of the few times I've shown anyone. Maybe if I scaled down the flowers too...

No time to think about that now! We're into October. Time to start the Xmas cards!

~Steph

My Shopping Trip To Costco

MY SHOPPING TRIP TO COSTCO

An Emotional Fairy Tale

The first time Drew and I went shopping at Costco was because it was rainy and neither of us likes to do anything on lazy, rainy days. Since the housework ain’t gettin’ done, we said, “Let’s go get some meat!!”

We get there and after a “test drive” around the parking lot, Drew finally finds his parking spot.

Why does he have such parking issues???? Who the hell can’t park a car???? WHY DO I KEEP LETTING HIM DRIVE?????

We go in and notice there are people everywhere pushing stuff and selling stuff. Food, phones, rain-repellent treatment for your vehicle, etc... etc... I hate stuff like that. They’re nice enough people, but leave me alone. I've been suckered into enough crap in my life. Please don't try and sell me stuff I don't need. I have a hard enough time leaving a winery without buying a bottle or two. I don't need this kind of pressure when I'm sober.

No, I don’t need baby wipes. I don’t have a baby. I don’t care if you can use them for other things. Grrrrrr.

We round the first corner and I almost run into some guy. He’s standing next to the TV display and talking to the guy standing across from him at the something-else display. Tablets? Phones? I don’t know, but they’re obviously both selling something.

I go, “Oops. Sorry.”

He says something back. I will never know what. I think the words “today” and “deal” were in there somewhere. All I saw at my eye-level was the DirecTV shirt his perfectly sculpted arms and tight chest were pushed into. The shirt wanted to burst open from the awesomeness. I looked up and was met with the face of a Greek god.

OH MY GOD!!!!!  IT’S ALEX!!!

* For those of you not in the know, Alex is the hero of the romantic comedy that I wrote and published what seems like three lifetimes ago. He's amazing. And he's awesome. And he's totally in love with our heroine Lyssa.

Ok, maybe he wasn't as Greek as he should be. His skin was as pale as mine. But he had the facial hair!!! HE HAD THE FACIAL HAIR!!!!!! His hair was cut a little shorter than our hero’s would be, but I can definitely forgive that. His eyes were soft and his smile even softer.

Words? What are these words you speak of, your majesty?

My jaw fell open. And it stayed there for a second longer than normal. Then this came tumbling out, “No. Thank you. But we’re not interested.”

WE AREN’T??????? SINCE WHEN??????? THIS GUY IS MY DAYDREAMS IN 3-D!!!!!!!!!!!! IT’S IMAX PRESENTS ALEX AND THE CASE OF THE DRIPPY PANTIES!!!!!!!

At this point, my brain completely snapped.

DO SOMETHING!!! HE THINKS YOU’RE A MORON!!!!!

For whatever reason, Drew was lagging behind. And he was movin’ slow. Abnormally slow, even for him. And staring at the ceiling??? I grabbed him by the arm and said, “No, we can’t look at this stuff today. Come on. We have to shop and then get you home.” Drew stared at me like I had three heads, which firmly backed the point I was trying to make.

I AM A SOCIAL WORKER! THIS IS MY MENTALLY CHALLENGED CHARGE!

“You need to push the cart, Andrew.”

“I am!” The whining he inadvertently added was pure gold.

I'd feel bad about this, but he's really NOT pushing the cart. He's still staring at the ceiling. I grab the end of the cart and pull it and him down the aisle.

I must confess, I’ve done this to Drew in Wegmans before when he’s being stupid, but then it’s a joke and the cashiers know it. And so does he. But this time? No joke, Drew is clueless, and it so totally worked! I got an even sweeter, more patient smile from the hot guy. The kind of smile that says, “It’s so nice that you bring your handicapped brother out shopping. You go, girl.”

I am the worst wife on the planet.

We get a few aisles down and away from Alex’s Caucasian doppelganger and I can’t contain it anymore. I blurt out… “Did you see that guy? He was freakin’ hot! If we had stopped, I’d have bought whatever the hell he was selling.”

“What guy?” Drew is genuinely lost today. Just utterly oblivious.

“The guy that looks like Alex! Totally hot!”

“Alex?!” Now Drew’s mad. I think he’s actually jealous! “Who’s Alex??”

“Hello? From the book? Alex and Lyssa?”

“Oh yeah.” He calms down immediately. “Him. Duh. I didn’t see him. It looked like him? Good.”

Now I’m practically pissing myself. Apparently if Alex isn’t real it’s ok to freak out about a hot guy. Who did he think I was referring to? The only people we actually know named Alex aren’t hot. And are females. WTF???

We continue shopping and I kind of forget about the DirecTV guy.

Until....

“I wanna check out this stuff.” More whining.

“It’s high-tech speakers and junk we don’t need.”

“I wanna see!”

“Oh, my God. You’re like a three-year old. Ok.”

We head down the aisle, which I didn’t realize in that mammoth store was actually near the front, and it ends right where we started... at the DirecTV guy.

I happened to look up and the timing was perfect. Our eyes locked. We did the polite smile thing. I started to panic again. I noticed Drew picked up some $70 gadget he didn’t need.

“No! You can’t have that! Let’s go! Time to check out!”

He puts it back on the shelf and I steer him back down the aisle.

By now he’s used to me saying to him, “No! You can’t have that!” Especially in Costco --- because that’s every other aisle with him! Seriously!

“I just bought you four new shirts from Kohls! You don’t need that! Put it down!”

That really happened, too!

We check out and I’m giggling like a moron. Drew has no idea what I did. He’s tired and just happy that we bought a ton of meat. I was going to tell him on the way home about my using him to cover-up my inner teenage girl’s insecurities, but my mind got distracted with trying to calculate how many meals we could get from the giant pork loin, chicken drumsticks, and whole chicken roasters we bought and how much it cost us. In doing so, we discovered a very important detail.

They never charged us for the $35 three-pack of ribs we bought. I don’t do a running total when I shop, so I had no idea what to expect at the checkout. If I had known, I definitely would have told them. I love a bargain, but I’m all about paying for what I owe.

We felt kind of bad, but weren’t going to go back. We were halfway home and it was pouring rain. The two people working the checkout didn’t catch it, and they actually emptied the cart for us. Plus, the woman who checks the cart to your list on the way out the door didn’t see it at all. We only bought 7 items. It’s not like they were hiding. If it had been a different scenario, like the cashier gave me a $50 in change instead of a $5, then yes. We'd have gone back because they would have gotten in a lot of trouble for a simple, honest mistake. But this time? Nope. We’re honest, but also kind of lazy, so we weren't going back. 

So, in conclusion, I got to drool on a hot guy, pretend Drew was my mentally challenged charge, and we got a crapload of ribs for free. I love Costco!

UPDATE:  Drew does now know the story. When I told him, he just smiled at me and said, "There's a lot of things to see at Costco! Even on the ceiling." He can be so much fun to be married to.

~ Steph

Ashley & Ryan's Baby Shower

At work this week, we held a baby shower for Ashley & Ryan. The parents-to-be are both co-workers of mine and also happen to be fans of the blog!

By coincidence, I've been on a baby shower craft kick lately. Like so many of my crafting obsessions, it was spurred on by a picture I saw on Pinterest.

I decided I HAD to decorate Ashley & Ryan's baby shower. HAD TO! I contacted our "Unofficial Office Shower Coordinator" Natasha and asked, "Can I decorate?" She said, "Please do!!!"

I knew what I wanted to do, and much to my surprise, it ended up being even better than I imagined. That doesn't really happen often. Usually, I end up apologizing. "It looked so much better in my mind." My world in my brain is gorgeous and always perfectly decorated.

Ashley & Ryan are having a girl, so naturally, everything was done in white and shades of pink.

I ended up ordering the tissue paper pom-poms from Amazon because I couldn't find them in town. I know how to make my own now, but honestly, I'd sooner buy them.

After hot gluing the clouds on a piece of dollar store foam board, I punched holes in the board and tied 13 strings from it. I glued my Silhouette-cut rain drops to the strings randomly. It didn't take as long as you'd expect. I tied metal beads to the ends of the strings to give them some weight. Honestly, not sure if it was necessary, but I did it anyway.

Mini banner!!!! My new favorite thing! I stuck the poles into two vases that I used at Diana's wedding reception and filled to the top with patio stone. It held the sticks nicely. I was thrilled that the Noga's took the banner with them after the shower. 

I was also determined to make a diaper cake! There's a story behind that...

Once upon a time, a childless couple went to BJ's to buy diapers. This was no ordinary childless couple. These were "special" people who chose to be childless. [Insert dramatic music here.] They were determined to be childless to the point that they get physically sick when even thinking about children. Seriously, people, they don't really care for anyone under the age of thirty*.

* Exceptions: Chapmans, Malteses, my masseuse's ADORABLE daughter, 2 out of 3 nephews, Max circa 2013, Abby-Dabby-Doo, and Pam's favorite son.

But the wife was determined to make a baby-shower-themed diaper-based decoration! So Mr. and Mrs. Baby-NOT headed to BJ's for diapers.

Husband:  This is the diaper aisle.

Wife:  The boxes are numbered. 1, 2, 3, 4... Is that the age of the baby?

Husband:  I don't know.

Wife:  There's weight on these. 10 to 12 pounds. Is that the diaper capacity? Do babies really shit that much??

Husband:  I think that's the weight of the baby.

Wife:  Oh. There's more stuff over here. 

Husband:  Those are baby wipes.

Wife:  You gotta wipe them too? Gross. Little bastards can't do anything for themselves.

Husband:  Just pick something.

At this point the husband is leaving the aisle. Left alone, the wife can be quite unpredictable.

Wife:  HOW MUCH DO YOU WEIGH?!?! I DON'T THINK THEY HAVE ANYTHING IN YOUR SIZE!!!

The husband, who is totally used to this by now, continues walking... shaking his head.

So, the clueless wife picks up size 2 and proceeds to look for the beer and snack aisle. Because when you don't have offspring counting on you to wipe their ass, you can pretty much be as irresponsible as you want!

Two hours later...

WHY THE HELL AREN'T THE DIAPERS WHITE?! THE PACKAGE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT BLUE AND YELLOW AND GREEN DOTS!!! THEY'RE *BLEEP*ING WITH MY DECOR DESIGN!!!!!

Some white and pink glitter ribbons later...

I'M SO DONE WITH THESE *BLEEP*ING DIAPERS!!!

The end.

(...of the story, any way.)

Tuesday night, Drew and I snuck into work to setup for the shower.
This is how it looked setup in the conference room, except brighter. My phone's camera sucks.

My favorite post-setup comments:

Maryann - I stood up close to the raindrops and blew at them to watch them move!

(She mimicked the action to show me. How cute!)

Natasha - If Heidi's having a girl, I want that cloud!!!

(All yours, sweetheart!)

Me to Bonny - I wonder if those diapers would fit my cat.

Everyone was very complimentary about the decorations, especially Ashley & Ryan. I don't normally make things for the recognition, but it's still always nice when people like my work. This was a case in which I really wanted to make some decorations and there just happened to be a party that needed some. I decided to do this with six days notice. Very short time-frame for me. When people request crafted items, I get anxiety if I don't have at least a month's notice. That's just me though. And even if I bitch and spazz through the entire process, when I get done, I'm always happy with the results. And usually, so is the recipient, which makes it all worthwhile in the end.

Of course, if anyone from work wants something for a shower in the future, keep in mind that you're getting whatever I'm in the mood to do. It might be steampunk, or pirates, or Halloween!!!

~Steph